Friday, September 18, 2009

Writing In Style

This is my lastest lesson I'm working on.Learning about the different styles of writing.One of my exercises is to write a 1/2 page about a girl going to a park in myown natural style. Then using that same passage covert it to simple style andthen again into a style that is totally different from your own.So I thought I might share what I've written. I am quite happy for any feedback.I'm hoping I'm on the right track with this.


NATURAL STYLE
Clare loved going to the park with her daddy, it was their special timetogether.Clare's parents had separated a year ago and every fortnight on the weekend, Tomand Clare would go to the park down by the lake. They would bring a picnic lunchand spend most of the afternoon playing and having fun.Clare loved the swings, it was her most favourite thing, and would ask her daddyto push. Tom looked down at Clare; the smile on her face, was one of content andpeace. Clare meant the world to him; there wasn't anything he wouldn't do forher.Tom noticed a lady walking towards them; what looked to be her own daughterracing ahead, eager to get on the vacant swing next to us.


SIMPLE STYLE
Clare loved going to the park with her daddy. It was their special timetogether.Clare's parents had split-up a year ago, so every second weekend, Tom and Clarewould go down to the park by the lake. They would bring a picnic lunch and situnder a tree. They would spend most of the afternoon at the park, having funtogether.Clare loved the swings. She would ask her daddy for a push. Tom looked down atClare, the smile on her face, showed just how happy she was today. Clare wasdaddy's special little girl, who he loved very much. He would do anything forher.Tom saw a woman coming towards them. She had a little girl with her too. Thegirl ran over to the empty swing and sat down.


OBTRUSIVE STYLE
Clare relished at the thought of walking to her favourite park with her daddy.Every second the clock would tick was significant to them, it was their specialtime to spend together.Clare's parents had divorced, and gone their separate ways but Tom was allowedfornightly access on a weekend. Tom ensured his limited time with Clare wasincomparable to anything else her mother organised.Her favourite place was the park by the lake with her dad. They would have apicnic under the tall trees, as their verdant tresses danced in the breeze.Their whole afternoon was absorbed in raptures of laughter as they playedtogether. Clare raced Tom over to the swings. Her could see the glow ofexcitement when she turned to check if Tom was chasing behind her. She wasdaddy's little girl, the sparkle in his eyes. He would shift heaven and earthfor her.Tom gave Clare a big push, which sailed her high into the air like a bird. Tomcould see a petite young lady, approaching the antiquated swings. A little girl,raced what looked to be her mother, to the unoccupied swing beside us andushered the lady to give her a push.



I'm not sure how I went here, especially the last style.

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